Bureau of Romantic Records

Your dating history, graded, certified, archived.

Every person you've dated becomes one collectible card: alias, rating, red flags, the whole file. By you, for you. On your phone, nowhere else.

Bureau status: processing · Android beta soon

Form SD-69 Self service

Build your own card

One specimen, filed right here in the browser. Nothing is saved, nothing is sent. The Bureau is merely showing off.

SOLID

Client-side only. The Bureau keeps no copy.

Specimen
A
7/10 · SOLID
Alex
“The Podcast”
Met via: The WildEst. 2026

A dependable specimen. Filed with respect.

Feature index Filed in order of importance, allegedly

The full apparatus

Form SD-11 · X-ray

Seven deck views

Flip every card at once into ages, origins, locations, or flag memos. Your type, made visible. You may not enjoy the findings.

Form SD-12 · Wrapped

The annual report

Pick a year, receive the era in review: MVP, The Lesson, hot streaks, passport pages. Computed on your device, witnessed by no one.

Form SD-13 · Testimony

Certified reviews

Send them a survey link. They rate the experience back, you seal it on the card. Their words, on the record, notarized by nobody.

Form SD-14 · Honors

Hall of Fame

Induction is reserved for the nines and tens. Permanent shine, permanent placement. The Bureau does not hand these out.

Form SD-15 · Recreation

Deck Scrabble

Every word your exes' initials can spell, with per-letter credits. Completely unnecessary. Absolutely included.

Form SD-16 · Exhibits

Share cards

Export any card as a PNG that is anonymized by construction: alias only, no photo, no handle. The group chat gets the lore, not the identity.

Classified

Form SD-02 Internal memo, now public

Nothing leaves your phone

AccountsNone. There is no sign-up, so there is nothing to leak.
ServersNone. The app makes zero network calls with your records.
StorageA file on your own device. The archive lives and dies on your phone.
CopiesThe Bureau keeps none. We could not read your deck if we wanted to.

Even the survey has no backend: the link carries the questions, the answers travel back as a code they paste to you. No cloud, no sync, no analytics on your records. This memo is the entire data policy.

Form SD-01 Intake

The Bureau is accepting applications.

The deck opens on Android first. Leave an address, pick a platform, and the Bureau will notify you in order received. That is the entire process. We are a very simple agency.

Beta testing opens soon on Google Play. Beta testers get in first and keep founder pricing. Use the Google account email on your Android phone: that is where the invite goes.

That address will not survive Bureau review. Check the format.

Applications are reviewed in order received.

Application received

You are in line. The Bureau will be in touch when the beta opens.